Juan, with a smile and outside to inside, feeling guilty, his glass of Sandeman port raised a toast in honor of his recent promotion and order wedding next year in Morocco.
Downing sixth glass of port and taking a few puffs of Monte Cristo, his left arm resting on the delicate shoulders, naked from his beautiful wife, Natalie, John tried in vain to wash that feeling vaguely empty inner fear that something terrible was in it. Whatwas just that he did not know, but it was a feeling of heaviness, which he carried with him since his youth. And this voice, this voice sad that all his life, a soft whisper in his heart again, tormented, "you are guilty …. guilty tyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Guil. Sitting in a small group of friends in a Toronto restaurant overlooking the night lights on Lake Ontario, John humming absently, smiling, her head still while his soul with that dull, continuous damage.
Arough-looking man in a heavy, black wool jersey knitted wearing large black sunglasses wing Sat Designer Versace, John. The man, in his fifties, a producer friend of Natalie from New York, swirling a glass of whiskey with big rough hands. It seemed to have been too discreet, John studied, between conversations with friends. He noticed John looking in his direction and quickly leaned forward, taking a sip of whiskey.
"EverI'm putting back in action, "said the producer. His clear blue eyes, unnaturally magnified by thick glasses, John traded in. It sounded more like a statement than a question.
John was a little surprised by his candor. After a brief rest, he has to respond, when the producer interrupts: "We are a film here in Toronto, and are in favor of a scene in which an American businessman emitting choking to death. Wild bunch dry fly, all the gray hairproducers bald as his big red nose, he withdrew a few inches from the face of John stuck. "I think it would fit the part."
I was not sure if it was fun for him seriously, but John felt uneasy. Do the producers know their secret? Could hear that faint whisper in it? John suffered an uncomfortable laugh to hide the bitterness and irony, he felt. She felt as if he had stifled all his life. Gagging the crazy cast blame and accusations emptytormented him. The struggles and grasping at understanding, but always fall short, choked her voice. It would be too much of a stretch on paper, he thought.
"I can do that," smiled sarcastically producers to match nerve.
John immediately began coughing violently. He grabbed his neck with both hands as he gasped desperately for air, his face turns red flush. He directed the action a little further in trying to mouth the words "help me, I'm drowning!"as it slides into his chair and stood on the edge of the window at her side. In terms of public fun, hands always characterized his throat, was confused by death, rolled his eyes and fell in a heap.
There was loud laughter, applause and cheers of the group, as John, particularly in the face, got up, sat down and folded his arms and stared at the steel manufacturers. John was secretly hoping she heard she got the part!
Instead, the farmer shook his head hard,He laughed and shrugged, "Always the comedian."
He raised his glass of whiskey and made a toast: "John, the comedian" joined hands outstretched with a drink in, and minor changes of glasses in the hall echoed.
John Natalie looked stunning in her emerald green eyes. Lines of grace, always so subtle, huddled in the corners of his sensual lips.
"Do not give up your day job, silly," she laughed, with his slight French accent, leaning lightly on hisShoulder.
The party, with vociferous of forks and knives, another round of drinks, smoke rising slowly from the misty cigar ashtray, and continued the talks meaningless.
In forty years, John was a wealthy man and happily in love, nothing but happy. He always felt a little dark coat of the impending death. I felt a void in his soul, an unresolved conflict, for a day will reveal a terrible fate and the monster it was.
It was beautifulathletic, average height, with jet black hair and pale complexion olive oil. The dark rings around his dark sunken eyes and his receding hairline and baldness overlooked emerging market in general, due to their good appearance matinee idols. He had a disarming charm and sophistication about him a quiet intensity and aggressiveness, masked people bothering them.
His father, Mr. Santorelli, a generation of Italians in the first place, was a wealthy businessman who owned a lucrativeConcierge cleaning empire that spread over two continents. Of course, Mr. Santorelli was his only son to enter the family business. Juan, meanwhile, had tried everything possible to escape the influence of his father and scope, could not free – he was in the blood.
John was a graduate of the prestigious Queen's University with a Bachelor of Commerce, as his father agreed to finance their studies if they wanted a "practical" career. ButIn contrast, his MBA, John studied theater with the great hope of a professional actor. He tried several seasons, acting in local theater, he worked as an extra in television commercials and more roles in B movies, amid a series of dead-end jobs that barely pay the rent. Nothing panned out.
The stars were John, as they did at all, but luck was not on his side. He lacked the will and determination to pursue their dreams. In part, he feltIt was because of this damn voice that reminds you did something wrong. Almost every night, deep in their darkest hour, a dark shadow would emerge, and point the finger and whispered the demon curse: "You are guilty, you are guilty of Guil-tyyyyyyyyyyyyy …." .
Broken in spirit and money, he crawled back to his father humiliated and called a job, not to mention the experience. He had always hated the ruthless ambition of his father. Although Mr.Santorelli was a hard worker there were rumors that he got most of the major contracts through bribes and payments in the key of the table as "incentives" for companies with Santorellis.
The rumor has been confirmed in the first few months in his new position when the purchasing manager for a large business house John asked what the incentives were "for business. To which John replied that there were" incentives "to save the Santorelli name and conditionsthe contract. That same day, the Purchasing Manager a call made to Mr. Santorelli. The incentives were arranged and written application. Mr. Santorelli was the innocence of your child's anger, and he immediately called his office.
"Listen," said Mr Santorelli sternly: "It's the magical world that can go back where things should be. And then there's the real world, where things are as they are! It's your choice."
John seemed fresh from his father.Mr. Santorelli did not move, and his trademark hard, implacable gaze John hit like a ton of bricks. John was the first to open and close, and the vision of the death of his father watching him even closer, lowered his eyes. Not one word. His face flushed, his jaw trembling uncontrollably, angry about his own weakness and the sight of the eager eyes of his father, John stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Since that day his father was raised.
AlthoughCleaning business was terribly bored by his intellectual sensibility and left a bitter shell, empty inside, John became a millionaire in just three years by observing the rules of "real world." Shortly after, she met and married the woman of his dreams. She was born a French model and actress, and at least now he could live through them.
John sat there in a daze, his thoughts slowly return to the party of the hand. Stiff drinks, looking absently at nothingin particular. Things took a turn for the better, he thought sarcastically, due to his recent promotion as Vice President, in a few years was ten times a millionaire, and he might be able to buy the same devil.
The party kept going as fast as the acid jazz played in the background. The heady atmosphere was filled with smoke and all sounds in a dizzying frenzy of merger amounts stuffy, unbearable sense for John. He stoodsharply, indicating the party was over for him.
"Where you going, man?" Cried a voice in the smog.
"It's getting late. We have to go. I need some fresh air," Juan lips as he helped with Natalie cream cashmere coat.
"Have fun on your wedding day in Morocco! Happy New Year!" another voice rang out behind him.
Natalie and John went to cold air, cool night, and took a walk along, armArm. As they approached the eyes, the spring, Natalie noticed something big in the waters under the moon and its glow.
"Oh, look!" Said.
Two swans were buried in the sparkling lake with their heads in their white feathers floating in August seem cool whip undulating swirls on a black coffee. John reached down to the ground and crushed a little snow in his hand.
"Do not sleep, you!" She protested.
He threw the snowball in one of the swans, butjust lost, as it sank into the lake with a shot right between the two swans. Swan raised her two graceful long necks moment, reveals all its majesty with his mask and dark eyes bright orange beak. One of them was hungry for floating pyramid, but then walked away.
"You missed, stupid, good thing, no, the poor has taken," he laughed.
He sat quietly on foot, led by the bright silvery light of the moon andalluring sounds of rolling waves.
"Not all swans in Marrakesh," she said, looking up slightly.
He kissed her.
They made love that night at her condo from the banks. Among the red satin sheets and embrace, the orange glow of the stove warming his bones, he fell into a deep sleep … John
A boy of eight sat down at the pale shadow of its porch light away from the scorching sun, stroking his gray cat, Ashley. As he stroked her softFur, looked straight into the emerald-green eyes for a moment too long and saw his own reflection is distorted. He saw her eyes and looked, and was filled with hatred.
He took the cat out in the blinding sun on the side of the house, and go their anger. If he could not destroy itself, which would destroy them. He grabbed the cat by the tail and swung again and let go, y. The cat on the wall with a crack broken. The cat had the skullbroken, and his brain spilled front and the white wall was sprayed with purple.
The boy initially was exhilarated by the feeling of death and the loud sound of "crack". But at the same time I knew that something snapped in him. She felt for the first time a horror inside I could not describe in words, nor care to investigate. And he did forget. But when he looked up he saw the word "murderer" hot-blooded on the wall, scribbled a newTerror hit him and he knew he could never forget …
John out of bed, sweating and shivering.
"Honey, what's wrong Are you okay?" Natalie whispered heavy, full of smoke.
"Just a bad dream," he said. "I'm going to forget in the morning."
But who is he kidding? Now I knew that he was that child. For the first time in thirty-two, he understood what he was guilty, and he realized the nightmare would never end.
John took a few sipsglass of Alka-Seltzer to her sister, throbbing headache. Natalie had been shopping on your own. Her hands trembled, and he was all nerves. The ticking of the clock from the second hand in the kitchen made him mad.
It was 12 hours and was hungry. Decided that the pike that had been cooking all night to thaw, rather than waiting for Natalie to return. John Pilaf whole fish fried in butter and garlic, served with rice, a touch ofThe parsley and a dash of lemon.
He sat there for a long time looking at the pike head narrow, pale-white film for its dark and bright eyes – sharp jaws wide open. He knew her secret. With the knife and fork head was dismembered and placed in the trash. He began to eat. The fish, seasoned with garlic butter and fed her warm, and comforted him. It is bone, but that's OK, and skillfully separated the bones in the mouth while eating.
ThereIt was a sound outside the fluctuation of the condominium. A key turned in the lock. It was Natalie.
"Surprise!" Look what I got at the pet store. It is sooo adorable, "she said enthusiastically, clinging to a medium gray cat, while the designer bags hanging from both arms purchases. "You will not believe, John! She has eyes the same color as mine!"
The cat fell silently on the white marble floor and ran toward him.
John's heart leaped. He turned pale and began to choke on aFish bone as he swallowed and inhaled the same time. He grabbed his neck with two hands, his eyes bloodshot.
"Oh, dear, do not be silly," she laughed, and walked into the room to store your shopping bags.
The cat was at her feet, and she jumped on his lap. The eyes were wide with fear, John was a pathetic cry, hollow, and fell into a terrible panic in his chair and fell hard on the head of the first floor – with a crack. A vein swelled in a single lineFront initiated and won a war, as the drum, as he was blue.
Natalie returned to find his lifeless body on the kitchen floor spreading.
"What to do to try, try, John?" Question. A deep maternal instinct kicked in as she sat beside her and stroked her hair. It's just a lonely boy hungry for attention, love and affection, he thought.
The cat licked the small bites of fish clinging to the corner of his mouth and rolled to his side. With itsemerald green eyes looked empty pools of John is black and only saw his own reflection. He rubbed his head against his neck and began to purr.
